Posted in Uncategorized

Back at It Again

I started my blog as a collection of my thoughts and reflections on life. I did not expect many people to follow or read it. I consider myself a relatively boring person. As I have been publishing my thoughts, and closely examining my relationship with the world, I have learned so much about myself. This blog has been my escape to be myself.

I noticed I haven’t posted anything since the onset of this pandemic. Naturally, I wondered why. I’m not sure that I have an answer, but I have learned so much about myself during this time. I think this has been a blessing in disguise to many of us. As horrible as this disease is, the result from the closings and sheltering in place have forced many of us to confront our true selves.

Since my last post, I have been working from home and my son has been attending virtual classes. I was shocked at how productive I have been in the comfort of my own home. Do I miss the interaction of all of my coworkers and students? Yes, but I am still able to communicate with them. What is no longer present is what I call “background people”. Background people are the people who you just tend to happen upon. People who are just around. You may not have any business with them, but there is some social pressure to interact with them in some way. As an introvert, It has been a relief to have some control over my social interaction. I feel my battery life has been extended.

My son’s virtual schooling got off to a bumpy start, but it has taught him discipline. He is becoming self-motivated and responsible. I have noticed he too may be an introvert and expressed little discomfort in sheltering in place. Although he missed seeing his friends, he has been able to stay is contact with them.

I have become an even better cook. My son and I have been experiencing different dishes and cooking techniques now that I am not spending hours in the car commuting. I have lost 10 pounds, I feel better, and less stressed. Life is more relaxed and I have gained in the area of productivity. This is a perfect work/life balance.

So as I was examining my life during this pandemic, I wondered why I had stopped blogging. I have taken many breaks since I started the blog, but I had explanations for those breaks. I could not quite put a finger on why I had stopped, but I think like most people during this time, I was adjusting. I was adjusting to a whole new way of life. My daily routine had drastically changed. I no longer have a set schedule. Although I make myself available during my normal office hours for work, I now have some flexibility to make lunch or dinner in between calls, dress comfortably, and to be in the comfort of my own home. This for me, is ideal.

I am back at it again. I suppose I have adjusted enough to this new normal to start writing this blog again. It feels good and just like all of the other changes, I feel relaxed.

There have been many other developments in my life that are quite extraordinarily wonderful. I feel that my life is better than I could have ever hoped it would be. I have rekindled old friendships, started restoring furniture again, and I just have a fresh outlook on life in general. I have a lot more to blog about, and I look forward doing so.

Posted in Uncategorized, Write On Wednesday

Write on Wednesday #63

Today’s Writing Prompt:  Rewrite History

Have you ever wondered what it would have been like to participate in a pivotal point in history?  What what it have been like as a conductor on the Underground Railroad?  Have you ever wondered how the ancient pyramids were constructed?  Write about what it would have been like for you.

Posted in Introvert Lounge

Social Distancing

 

Fortunately, I am able to work from home.  These next few weeks will be interesting. Many have joked how us introverts have been prepared for times such as this.  I am wishing all of you well and for those who have fallen ill, I wish a speedy and complete recovery.  God bless!

Posted in Introvert Lounge, Uncategorized

Introverts and Socializing at Work

As an introvert, I don’t feel I am at a disadvantage most times. I have grown to love my introversion and do not view it as a hindrance, but when you are in a situation where you are you must work with mostly extroverts those advantages don’t seem to put you in a favorable position.

Working with extroverts, especially those who try to for you out of your introversion can be difficult. Most of the work activities are stirred toward forced social interaction, team-building, and all things that they may enjoy, but we find uncomfortable and tiring. It can be challenging to be an introvert in those situations. I have found some ways to cope with them. Sometimes they work and sometimes they don’t. When they do, it is a win-win for all involved. Below are some of the tips I have used in the past.

 

Offer to do the planning and the setup.

I love to plan.  Planning an event is never a problem for me.  It’s attending the event that sparks my anxiety.  That anxiety is exacerbated by the idea that everyone will thing I am antisocial or unwilling to participate because my energy will drain and I will begin to power down in the middle of the event. If I become heavily involved in the planning, I can still participate in my own way and often alone.  I can also busy myself with the setup and thus avoid any sustained interaction.  

 

Find another introvert

I call this the magnet method.  The introvert is easy to spot.  Search all corners of the room and that is where you will find us.  Generally introverts who understand each other are content with congregating together and not socializing.  

 

Excuse yourself ahead of time

If you are not on company time, it is perfectly fine to have other plans they will cut into the event.  When you feel your energy start to drain, leave.  It works well to have something planned ahead of time so everyone can be prepared for your departure.

 

As I mentioned, these tips don’t always work for every situation, but they can ease some of the introvert’s anxiety.  The main thing is not to feel guilty for using these or any other coping strategies. We are who we are and we cannot help that.

 

Posted in Think About it Thursday

Renewal

 

Soon it will be spring and with it comes thoughts of things starting anew.  Along with the blooms and pastels there will be new beginnings.  Some mark this change of season with cleaning house from top to bottom.  I usually don’t follow such customs, but this spring I am committed to a renewal.

Are there things that you need to renew?  Are there any slates that should be wiped clean and a new story written in its stead?  Let’s use this upcoming spring to start something afresh.

 

Posted in Tea Talk Tuesday, Think About it Thursday, Uncategorized

Just Leave it Behind

There are some things we have to leave in the past if we want to have a different future.

That is a lesson that has taken me years to learn.  We can get so comfortable with past experiences that we make them our present and our future.

Many of us have lived through a tragedy, had our hearts broken, or been mistreated.  There is no reason to keep reliving those horrible moments.  Certainly those experiences have shaped the people we are today, but they don’t have to shape us in a negative way.  We should view those experiences as learning moments.

We often use past traumatic experiences to excuse our present behavior, but the only reason these past experience continue to affect us is because we continue to reach into the past and bring them to the surface.  If you have ever uttered the words “I am like this because_________happened to me a long time ago”, you are guilty of allowing past experience to shape your present life.  Stop creating issues and focus on healing and moving forward.  Learn from those experiences and make better choices for yourself.

If you were ever in a relationship with a dishonest person, don’t create trust issues.  Make better decisions on who you share your life with.  If you grew up in a household where accountability and responsibility were nonexistent and you can recognize that, don’t allow that to be your excuse to continue that pattern.  I admit that not everyone who exhibits a  certain negative behavior is aware of the reason, but for those of us who like to blame current behavior on past experiences, we know exactly what we are doing.  We know there was a problem in the past.  Let’s leave it behind and move forward.

Posted in Introvert Lounge

Introvert Cloak

It seems that everywhere I turn there is mention of introversion.  As an introvert I don’t throw the term around loosely and I don’t like when other do.  In particular, I don’t like it when being antisocial, boring, or nastily sarcastic is associated with introversion.  I love people and am a generally pleasant person.  I love being around people too, but I get my fill of socializing quicker than others.  I will admit I won’t seek out heavily populated social events.  I much rather attend a symphony, recital, or a play.  I tend to choose events I don’t have to play an active roll in.  That’s it.  If i spend too much time socializing, I’m worn out.  My social butterfly wings will quit mid-flight leaving me searching for a quiet, solitary place to land.  Before that energy wears out, you would never guess that I am an introvert, but I am and that’s okay.

What is not okay is behaving poorly and then throwing on the introvert cloak. Below is a list of qualities often associated with introverts that drive me crazy.

 

 

Introverts don’t like people

Yes we do. I hate this association the most because I love people.  I think this has been associated with introvert because we tend to “give out” and retreat a social functions.  I understand it can be confusing to see a person jolly and having a wonderful time then turn into someone who can’t get out of the room fast enough.  That is because we have used up our energy.  We all can turn on the charm and enthusiasm, but it has a limited shelf life. That does not mean we don’t enjoy spending time with people.  It just means that time does indeed get spent.

 

Introverts are snarky

Okay…I can be snarky, but it is not a part of my personality.  One thing I can say about most introverts I know is that we are quite witty.  If the situation calls for snark, it is best served by us.  I think our ability to think through things before opening our mouths give is that extra biting edge when  the need for a snarky remark presents itself.

Introverts like to hide in the shadows

This is only partially true.  We will go hide in the shadows when our energy reserves wear out, but we do not live there.  We enjoy the light as much as anyone else.

 

Introverts are not great public speakers

I have to speak in public all the time and it does not bother me at all.  I actually prefer speaking in front of a large group as opposed to mingling within a large group.  Introversion is not a lack of ability to function.  We just do things differently.

 

Introverts do not want friends

We do want friends, just not too many.  We usually have a small circle of close friends.  I am always looking to make new connections, but constant hanging out and doing lots of things together very often does not appeal to me.  My close circle of friends understand that or they are introverts as well.  It takes someone who really understands an introvert to be friends with one.  I often want to be in the company of my friends without necessarily interacting with them.  This is one of the things some of my extroverted friends do not understand.  I often hear “Why did you suggest I come over if we weren’t going to do anything?”  My response to that is “I just wanted to spend some time with you” , and I do. It doesn’t necessarily mean we have to do something.  Introverts are fine with just being.

 

What are some other misconceptions about introverts that drive you mad?

 

Posted in Write On Wednesday

Write on Wednesday #62

 

Today’s Writing Prompt: Road Trip!

I really don’t have any memorable road trips that were taken just for the reason of having a road trip.  My trips usually have a specific purpose like a visit or to attend an event. I have always wanted to just jump  in the car to no particular destination.  I would love to take a few weeks of just traveling to see the country.

For today’s writing prompt, write about an epic road trip.  Get very detailed.  Who will go with you?  What will pack?  What vehicle will you drive?  For how long will you be traveling?

Have fun with it. Maybe it will inspire you to make it a reality.

Posted in Think About it Thursday

Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

We all let things slide, put things off, procrastinate.  There are some things that we really need to take care of before it’s too late.  This post was inspired by the “I don’t know who this is for” memes I see in many social media posts. I thought it would be a good idea to turn this post into a friendly reminder for all of us to take care of those things that we tend to put off.

iBourgie’s List of Things That May Need Your Attention

  1. Get a new toothbrush
  2. Change your air filters
  3. How old is your makeup? (Seriously, I don’t wear makeup often and I am certain I have had the same foundation for over a year.)
  4. Dust (I can’t remember the last time I did this)
  5. Cancel that free trial!
  6. Do you have any useless subscriptions? Cancel them!
  7. That ugly sweater that Aunt So and So gave you five years ago, donate it! She’s never seen you in it anyway.
  8. Throw all the stuff your ex gave you away.
  9. If you have a hope chest, start using that stuff now.
  10. Clean your belly button.  It’s a lint trap