I recently lost a dear friend. He and I had just recently reconnected. We had communicated over social media, but hadn’t had any face time in a couple of years. Two weeks after that reconnection, he was gone. I won’t go into detail about the circumstances around his passing, but it has truly sparked in me a desire to connect with people on a level that may not be comfortable for me, but necessary.
This post is just to make people think about the world around them. Oftentimes we are so absorbed in our social media connections, playlists, books, daydreams, etc., that we don’t see what is going on around us. We don’t recognize when things are out of place or out of the ordinary. We have become too afraid to ask questions or simply reach out and have some actual contact or intimate interaction.
Not everyone is okay even if they look okay. Take the risk of offending someone or embarrassing yourself for the sake of another’s well-being. Put down your phone and observe your surroundings. Take the time to notice things and recognize when things are different.
I am writing this to say that we have become too accustomed to thinking of how things could go wrong if we were to take action. We have alsolearned to value our perceived intentions more than our actual intentions. Trust your instincts. You have them for a reason.
Today’s Writing Prompt: Your Most Embarrassing Moment
Do you recall a time when you were so embarrassed you thought you would never recover from it? Write about it. Describe what happened, the reactions you noticed, and how you felt. You can even write about how you would have liked to prevent it or rectify the embarrassment.
Do you have a gift that stands out it your mind? Was it unexpected? Was it a gift to someone else? How did they react? Write about something you gave or received as a gift. What was special about it? Try to describe the the feelings you felt when you gave or received it.
We moms can really do a number on ourselves. We pile on unrealistic expectations, sprinkle on a little comparison and competition, and then criticize ourselves when everything is not perfect. We also take ownership of things we have very little control over. As moms, we need to give ourselves a break.
My teenage son wears braces. He has been wearing them for almost a year now and I have been in a constant battle with him about his oral health. You must be extra vigilant with braces as bacteria and lurk around in those hard-to-reach places. I bought him a water pick, special mouthwash, special picks, and special floss. Each time I would take him to get his braces tightened, the orthodontist would tell him to work on his brushing. I would hear that and take that as a personal hit. I felt I should be doing a better job of making him floss, pick, swish, and brush. So each day after each tightening, he and I would go into the bathroom to practice flossing, picking, swishing, and brushing. Each time my son promised to do better, but at his next cleaning he was told the same thing by the hygienist. As she grabbed the mirror to show him the results of poor oral care I hung my head in shame. Although he had no cavities or any other tooth decay, there was visible bacteria buildup around his gum line. Then something else happened. The hygienist then told him that his mother was not responsible for making sure he brushes his teeth properly. Deep down I knew this, but it still did not stop me from feeling like a failure as she scraped away the ick from his teeth. I felt relieved that this nice hygienist took the time to say those words. It made me feel better having her let me off of the hook I had painfully placed myself on.
I intend to call back to let her know how much I appreciated her acknowledgment of something that I should be more conscious of. Certainly as mothers we will continue to attempt to pick up our children’s slack, but we must realize that we aren’t responsible for doing all the things they are capable of doing themselves.
No matter how one feels about monarchy, one must admit there continues to be a fascination with royalty. We use it in our everyday speech as a compliment. I often hear “Good morning, Queen!” from a nice young man when I am dressed fashionably or a “I hear you, Queen!” when I say something intelligent or witty. Last week, my cousin used “Queen” to describe me. I then told him my crown was bought and paid for. I just had to start wearing it. In my reply, I realized that although I was in possession of a crown, I had not been wearing it. This caused me to examine why.
It has been always been my belief that we all have crowns. I think deep down most people feel this is the case, but do we walk around on a daily basis like royalty? I didn’t. People were seeing it in me, I feel it is there, but I was not wearing my crown. When I was younger, I was known as the smart kid, teachers pet, and all those things that go along with being a bright student. Although it was a good thing, this caused me to be teased by other students. Being the smart kid wasn’t the popular thing to be. So I took off my crown. It started with self-deprecating humor and dumbing myself down to be what I thought to be more acceptable. As I got older, being smart was cool again. I reached for my crown and starting wearing it proudly. Then there were other times I felt undeserving of the crown upon my head. I would respond to a compliment not by simply saying “Thank you”, but by pointing out a flaw in myself. I wanted to let people know that although my royal blood is evident to others, I doubted it. I am ready to start wearing my crown at all times, at all functions, and in front of all people. Are you?
Some of us are afraid to touch it, some of us are intimidated power and responsibility that comes along with it, and some of us don’t feel worthy of wearing it. We all own one. Start wearing it!