Posted in Good Stuff, Tea Talk Tuesday

Mommy Guilt

We moms can really do a number on ourselves.  We pile on unrealistic expectations, sprinkle on a little comparison and competition, and then criticize ourselves when everything is not perfect.  We also take ownership of things we have very little control over.  As moms, we need to give ourselves a break.

My teenage son wears braces.  He has been wearing them for almost a year now and I have been in a constant battle with him about his oral health.  You must be extra vigilant with braces as bacteria and lurk around in those hard-to-reach places.  I bought him a water pick, special mouthwash, special picks, and special floss.  Each time I would take him to get his braces tightened, the orthodontist would tell him to work on his brushing.   I would hear that and take that as a personal hit.  I felt I should be doing a better job of making him floss, pick, swish, and brush.  So each day after each tightening, he and I would go into the bathroom to practice flossing, picking, swishing, and brushing.  Each time my son promised to do better, but at his next cleaning he was told the same thing by the hygienist.  As she grabbed the mirror to show him the results of poor oral care I hung my head in shame.  Although he had no cavities or any other tooth decay, there was visible bacteria buildup around his gum line.  Then something else happened.  The hygienist then told him that his mother was not responsible for making sure he brushes his teeth properly.  Deep down I knew this, but it still did not stop me from feeling like a failure as she scraped away the ick from his teeth.  I felt relieved that this nice hygienist took the time to say those words.  It made me feel better having her let me off of the hook I had painfully placed myself on.

I intend to call back to let her know how much I appreciated her acknowledgment of something that I should be more conscious of.  Certainly as mothers we will continue to attempt to pick up our children’s slack, but we must realize that we aren’t responsible for doing all the things they are capable of doing themselves.

Posted in Tea Talk Tuesday, Uncategorized


We have all been planted.  Some can bloom in their present situation.  Some need to be uprooted and transported to an environment conducive to growth.  Regardless of your situation, you owe it to yourself to blossom.

Sometimes change needs to happen. If your present situation is not to your liking, by all means, do something to improve it.  Things could always be worse, but they could also be better.  There is always a bright side.  Don’t be afraid of the light.  The grass is not always greener on the other side, but if there is no sunlight on your side of the fence, nothing will grow.  Make a move!  Go out and find the sunlight to fuel your growth.

Posted in Tea Talk Tuesday, Think About it Thursday

Making Room

We have all heard “Out with the old, in with the new.”  It sounds so pleasant, but it can be very difficult.  Sometimes it can happen abruptly and without warning.

If you have read some of my previous posts, you will know that I went through a season of unfortunate events.  The first unfortunate event was the second accident in my minivan.  I was on my way to the body shop to get an estimate for a rear end collision that caused some minor damage to my rear bumper.  I had planned on doing some Christmas shopping as well.  I had my mother and my two-year-old son in tow at the time when a pickup truck crossed the median,  T-boned another truck which in turn hit me, pushing my van into oncoming traffic on the opposite side of the highway.  The first truck went on to hit the car behind me. Fortunately, the oncoming traffic was far enough away not to hit me again.  After the dust cleared, I checked to see if my mom and son were okay, snapped my dislocated thumb back in place (yeah, I’m tough like that), I realized all of my airbags had deployed which meant my van was surely a total loss.  The drunk driver who hit us had destroyed my mommymobile and caused so much damage and injury to others as well. The last person hit was seriously, but not life-threateningly injured.

The paramedics came to take us to the hospital and as I could see that my mom and son were okay, I wondered what lingering aches and pains would follow us in the upcoming days, and possibly years to come.  I hoped my thumb was not broken.  It wasn’t, and my mom and son were fine (my mother and I needed several weeks of physical therapy, but on the whole, we were okay).  After my family and I made it safely home from the hospital, I started to think about my mommymobile.  I had purchased it when I was still working.  Now as a full-time, stay-at-home mom, my family was living on just one salary. I wondered if we would be able to get another vehicle comparable to the one we had.  I loved that van.  Fortunately, we were able to get a used van identical to the one we had.  This one even had all of the bells and whistles my base-model had not.  Something I loved was replaced with something better.

I think of this story when I have challenging moments in my life.  There are times when I need to make room for better things.  I cannot get too attached to something that may be blocking the place of something better.  Go with the flow.  Allow things to be transient.  Oftentimes we tend to hold on to things with the mindset of scarcity.  The world is abundant.  We have more than we need at our disposal and should never hold on so tightly to things with the belief they cannot be replaced.

I would like to challenge all of us to make room.  Purge the old and tattered and make room for something new.  We deserve it!


Posted in Tea Talk Tuesday, Uncategorized



In many of my posts I mention how I am a work in progress.  I am on a constant journey toward becoming the best and happiest person I can be.  Part of that process is reconnecting with things that make me happy.  Years ago I began restoring furniture.  I would find an old ratty, damaged piece and make it look brand new again.  Sometimes I would re-purpose it into something entirely different, or I would simply restore it.  I had such pride in the finished product and looked forward to my next project.  The whole process was invigorating.  I would search antique markets, thrift stores, and yard sales for the perfect piece, then I would plan what I would do with it.  I took pleasure in selecting my tools, paint, fixture, and various accouterments to make the piece complete.  I really threw myself into it.  I would spend hours making it just right and I loved every minute of it.  Some of the items I would give away as gifts and some I would keep for myself.  Nonetheless, I felt a sense of accomplishment with the finished product.  It was not only the act of creating something, but the entire experience.  I used my time for something that fed my soul.


As I have mentioned in other posts, I went through a very challenging period a few years ago.  I really disconnected at that time.  I disconnected from my passions, friends, and myself.  I stopped doing many of the things that made me happy.  I stopped communicating and spending time with my friends because I was embarrassed by who I had become.  I had become overweight, sad, and just not a pleasant person to be around.  I had lost all motivation to live.  I was merely existing.


Thankfully, I made it through that challenging period and I am continuing to reconnect with the things and the people I love.  Recently, I reconnected with a very good friend who shares my interest in restoring furniture.  Just seeing some of the things he’s done made me want to get back into restoring furniture too.  I had collected several pieces that were just quietly waiting in my shed in the hopes they would eventually see the light of day.  A couple of weeks ago, I pulled out an old vanity that belonged to my great-great aunt.  It was in okay condition, but required a lot of work.  I gratefully welcomed the challenge.  It wasn’t my best work as I have been out of practice for a while, but I was still very proud of it.  There are a few more things I need to do to it, but I was so thrilled by the way it turned out I couldn’t wait to take a picture of the almost finished product.

Before vanityafter vanity

vanity accessories

Reconnecting with my hobby and my friend have had amazing results on my soul. Renewing the friendship has led me to reestablish other relationships and connect to the part of me that was truly living life.

I would like to challenge all of us to reconnect to some of the good people and things we may have disconnected from.  As we reconnect, we may find even more food for our souls.

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Posted in Tea Talk Tuesday

The Things We Do to Promote the Books We Write

Becoming a professional author can require writers to do strange and unnatural things. These acts against nature can include, but are not limited to: stepping away from the computer screen, leaving…

Source: The Things We Do to Promote the Books We Write

Posted in Tea Talk Tuesday

Avoid These 5 Traps that Can Destroy Your Good Habits. | Gretchen Rubin

Every Wednesday is List Day, or Tip Day, or Quiz Day. Today: Avoid these five habit traps — they can destroy your good habits. When we’re trying to maste

Source: Avoid These 5 Traps that Can Destroy Your Good Habits. | Gretchen Rubin

Posted in Tea Talk Tuesday

Know when to hold ’em. Know when to fold ’em.


Life is confusing.  That’s just how it is.  Many people say that life is hard, but it is mostly making decisions  that give us difficulty.  We have tons of decisions to make: who to make friends with, which college to go to, how to spend our money, etc.  There is no way to get around it.  Even young children need to make decisions that will greatly impact their little lives.

In life we are given guides.  With choosing a guide comes another very important decision. We may have parents, mentors, clergy, or some spiritual adviser to help shape our thoughts and aid us in making decisions, but we must chose which one works for us.  Sometimes those choices are made for us.  Sometimes one way is all we know and it is not until we are exposed to something else that we begin to question the path laid out for us.

Like many of us I was lead to think a certain way, act a certain way, and do certain things.  It was not until I became older that I began to question many of my decisions.  Sometimes I went against what felt right to me in order to follow a path that was chosen for me.  I chose my first college major based on what I was told to do.  I knew it was not what I wanted for my life, but I was convinced it was the right thing because I was being counseled by someone I loved and trusted and someone I knew loved me.  Although I was a great student in high school, my first year of college was terrible.  I never missed class or failed to turn in an assignment but what was lacking was a true commitment.  I was just going through the motions.  It was a very passionless academic experience.  I had always loved reading and writing and always had a passion deep inside to become a writer or to live my life with writing being a major part of it, but instead I was told it would be best for me to go to law school and become a attorney.  I loved discussing things so naturally it made sense to those advising me to become an attorney.  I love a good argument so it was decided that an attorney I would be.  When I would express my desire to write for a living I was told I would be poor and unemployable.

After my first year of college I quit.  Being on academic probation truly helped me. I was able to petition to go back, but I used academic probation to prove the case that I was not yet ready for college.  In truth, I was, but I was not ready to go down a path that I knew would not suit me.  I folded and I walked away.  The dealing was done.  The summer I decided to leave college, I secured a full-time job.  I was making money and I was able to write as a hobby.  I was never so happy in my life.  I was able to make money and write, but there was something inside of me that wanted something more.

After working for a few years, I decided to continue may college career.  I then changed my major to Communications.  I still wanted to be an English major, but still heavily under the influence of old advice, I felt Communications seemed a more marketable choice.  I took a couple of classes in public speaking and an anthropology class.  I loved the anthropology class.  During that time I was reading a series by Anne Rice.  I was in awe of her ability to come up with such fascinating characters and felt that she must be blessed with some unique ability. As I began to study anthropology, I began to see some similarities to what I was reading in the Anne Rice series.  I mentioned those similarities to my professor and how I was amazed at how Anne Rice was able to craft such work loosely based off of the primal horde theory.  My professor then told me that I too have access to those same resources.  I knew right then that what I had always felt  in my gut was right.  I now had confirmation that I was the best person to determine what was best for me.  That was my last semester as a Communications major.  I had to walk away.

It was another 10 years of doing what I felt I was supposed to do before I went back to college as an English major. I continued on my job, got married, and had a child.  A few months after my son was born I quit my job to be a full-time mother.  This decision was one that was extremely easy to make.  There were plenty of loved ones who said I would be making a mistake by quitting a good job that I was able secure without a college degree and had had several promotions.  People told me that I would never have that opportunity again.  I didn’t care.  The job I has was not the path I wanted to continue on anyway, but I was sure I wanted to be the best mother I could to my son.  I quit my job.  I knew when to walk away.

When my son began school.  I was left at home with nothing to do but clean my house and cook.  I began writing.  I had a few articles published and I felt like I was on the start of living my life the way I wanted, but something was still missing.  I wanted that degree.  With my son in school I had the time to go back and get it.  I held on to my dream.  I went down several different paths before I reached my goal, but I held on to what I knew was best for me.  I won’t say that those different paths were the wrong ones, but what is most important was knowing that I must hold on to my dream.  Those other paths led to lasting friendships, connections, and experiences that have shaped the person I have become.

What I would like all of us to gain from this is there may be somethings you need to let go of and there may be some things you need to do in order to get to where you need to be.  Don’t regret any decision you’ve made, but never let go of your dreams.


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