I have made a huge change in my life. With this change came a lot of work that I needed to do physically and emotionally. I will first explain the physical work. I made a physical move. My son and I moved into another home. Our new home was very close to the old one so I didn’t plan on hiring movers, and there was no deadline for me to leave my old home so I could take my time. I packed our essential things gradually leaving the things we needed readily accessible in place. I had no clear-cut plan on how the move was going to get completed. I just relied on the fact that there was no rush. I had time and I was only moving a few miles away. So I packed my nonseasonal things in boxes and drove them to my home each day over that span of several weeks. I chose not to fill my fridge with groceries as I would be moving it to. Although I still had no plan on when and how I was going to do so. The same went for my large furniture items. I knew I would have to move them eventually, I didn’t want the shell out the cash to pay for movers, and didn’t feel the pressure of time.
A few weeks went by, and I was still a one-woman caravan for my manageable items, but the larger items remained and I was starting to feel the effects of being unsettled. I was rifling through packed boxes to fish out things I needed, but had packed because I believed I would only have use for them when I had completed the move. As my frustration started to build, I began to wonder why no one had offered to help. Everyone in my circle knew I was moving. They all knew how I was traveling back in forth with my mid-sized SUV packed to the hilt. They had all seen me stooped in pain from carrying boxes back and forth, loading and unloading. I was getting upset with everyone around me for watching me struggle with this move.
Then I realized that I had never asked for help. Not only that, several times in the past, I had refused help when it was offered. It didn’t click with me at the time that my constant refusal of help may have been a signal to all of my friends that I didn’t need the help. I was responsible for how they were treating me, but being the stubborn person that I am, continued to move unassisted. I moved beds, a coffee table, shelving units, boxes, all by myself. I even carried a six-drawer dresser up six stairs into my new home.
Eventually, I hired movers to move my refrigerator and sofas. I have no idea how I was able to do so much, but I paid that price. I visit a chiropractor twice a week now. I could not walk the day after I completed my move, and two days later I couldn’t stand upright. Was I proud of what I had done? Yes. Was it stupid? Yes. Was it necessary? No. Could I have asked for help? Absolutely. Have I learned my lesson? Not yet, but I’m working on it. Old ways die hard and I am certainly open to suggestions.
Change happens. There is nothing we can do to stop it. We can prolong it but, it is inevitable. We don’t have to like it but, we must learn to accept it. It makes some people uncomfortable. Oh well.
I have always been the type of person who accepted change. I am not normally a combative person. I do like to challenge things and I am assertive. I also know when to pick my battles. Sometimes it is not worth it to put up a fight just to kick the can down the road. I like peace and peace comes with acceptance.
In the past year, my life has changed drastically. For the most part it is good but, there are some things that weren’t so great. Fortunately for me, those bad things were temporary. Nonetheless, there was nothing I could do to stop it. I had to work with what I had. I had to make adjustments and, more importantly, I had to get on with my life. I had to surrender, embrace the changes, and work through them. Had I fought it, I would have prolonged the discomfort. Now it is just a distant memory. I even laugh about it now.
Life is good and I will continue to give little time to the things I cannot change.
Many of us Christians will say, “I will put it in God’s hands”. I have said it numerous times, but being a Christian also requires action. As followers and believers in Christ, we are well equipped to take action in our lives. It is our Christian duty.
It is not only necessary to believe but we must also support that belief.
We have all heard “Out with the old, in with the new.” It sounds so pleasant, but it can be very difficult. Sometimes it can happen abruptly and without warning.
If you have read some of my previous posts, you will know that I went through a season of unfortunate events. The first unfortunate event was the second accident in my minivan. I was on my way to the body shop to get an estimate for a rear end collision that caused some minor damage to my rear bumper. I had planned on doing some Christmas shopping as well. I had my mother and my two-year-old son in tow at the time when a pickup truck crossed the median, T-boned another truck which in turn hit me, pushing my van into oncoming traffic on the opposite side of the highway. The first truck went on to hit the car behind me. Fortunately, the oncoming traffic was far enough away not to hit me again. After the dust cleared, I checked to see if my mom and son were okay, snapped my dislocated thumb back in place (yeah, I’m tough like that), I realized all of my airbags had deployed which meant my van was surely a total loss. The drunk driver who hit us had destroyed my mommymobile and caused so much damage and injury to others as well. The last person hit was seriously, but not life-threateningly injured.
The paramedics came to take us to the hospital and as I could see that my mom and son were okay, I wondered what lingering aches and pains would follow us in the upcoming days, and possibly years to come. I hoped my thumb was not broken. It wasn’t, and my mom and son were fine (my mother and I needed several weeks of physical therapy, but on the whole, we were okay). After my family and I made it safely home from the hospital, I started to think about my mommymobile. I had purchased it when I was still working. Now as a full-time, stay-at-home mom, my family was living on just one salary. I wondered if we would be able to get another vehicle comparable to the one we had. I loved that van. Fortunately, we were able to get a used van identical to the one we had. This one even had all of the bells and whistles my base-model had not. Something I loved was replaced with something better.
I think of this story when I have challenging moments in my life. There are times when I need to make room for better things. I cannot get too attached to something that may be blocking the place of something better. Go with the flow. Allow things to be transient. Oftentimes we tend to hold on to things with the mindset of scarcity. The world is abundant. We have more than we need at our disposal and should never hold on so tightly to things with the belief they cannot be replaced.
I would like to challenge all of us to make room. Purge the old and tattered and make room for something new. We deserve it!
In life we often try to make things more complicated than they are. If we can just take the time to listen to what our hearts, minds, and bodies are telling us, we can face the world and all its challenges with confidence.
Source: March 2016 – positively present
In all areas of our life we need balance. It has been a struggle for me and others to take time for ourselves and to also realize that that time is a necessity. Don’t let guilt seep into your personal time. You deserve it and it is essential to your well-being.
I am a very cautious person. I’ve always been the person who weighs every possible option before making a decision. It is a blessing and a curse. I have found this quality beneficial to my friends when they ask me for advice, but mostly it has been a hindrance for me. I go back and forth so many times and usually it prevents me from making a move or trying something new. Fortunately, I have been making some much needed changes and they have been paying off.
I have decided in some instances, not all, I might as well jump. I may make a mistake, I will just learn to deal with it. The most important part is learning. I never want to stop learning. How will I continue to learn if I don’t accept and welcome new experiences? I have met many amazing people and even made new friends. The process has been challenging and I am not quite at the point I want to be, but I am still working on it and enjoying the journey.
I have made a list of things that I plan to do and I am holding myself to it. There are so many things that I’ve always wanted to do but, have talked myself out of. I might as well jump!