Posted in Introvert Lounge

Social Distancing

 

Fortunately, I am able to work from home.  These next few weeks will be interesting. Many have joked how us introverts have been prepared for times such as this.  I am wishing all of you well and for those who have fallen ill, I wish a speedy and complete recovery.  God bless!

Posted in Introvert Lounge, Uncategorized

Introverts and Socializing at Work

As an introvert, I don’t feel I am at a disadvantage most times. I have grown to love my introversion and do not view it as a hindrance, but when you are in a situation where you are you must work with mostly extroverts those advantages don’t seem to put you in a favorable position.

Working with extroverts, especially those who try to for you out of your introversion can be difficult. Most of the work activities are stirred toward forced social interaction, team-building, and all things that they may enjoy, but we find uncomfortable and tiring. It can be challenging to be an introvert in those situations. I have found some ways to cope with them. Sometimes they work and sometimes they don’t. When they do, it is a win-win for all involved. Below are some of the tips I have used in the past.

 

Offer to do the planning and the setup.

I love to plan.  Planning an event is never a problem for me.  It’s attending the event that sparks my anxiety.  That anxiety is exacerbated by the idea that everyone will thing I am antisocial or unwilling to participate because my energy will drain and I will begin to power down in the middle of the event. If I become heavily involved in the planning, I can still participate in my own way and often alone.  I can also busy myself with the setup and thus avoid any sustained interaction.  

 

Find another introvert

I call this the magnet method.  The introvert is easy to spot.  Search all corners of the room and that is where you will find us.  Generally introverts who understand each other are content with congregating together and not socializing.  

 

Excuse yourself ahead of time

If you are not on company time, it is perfectly fine to have other plans they will cut into the event.  When you feel your energy start to drain, leave.  It works well to have something planned ahead of time so everyone can be prepared for your departure.

 

As I mentioned, these tips don’t always work for every situation, but they can ease some of the introvert’s anxiety.  The main thing is not to feel guilty for using these or any other coping strategies. We are who we are and we cannot help that.

 

Posted in Introvert Lounge

Introvert Cloak

It seems that everywhere I turn there is mention of introversion.  As an introvert I don’t throw the term around loosely and I don’t like when other do.  In particular, I don’t like it when being antisocial, boring, or nastily sarcastic is associated with introversion.  I love people and am a generally pleasant person.  I love being around people too, but I get my fill of socializing quicker than others.  I will admit I won’t seek out heavily populated social events.  I much rather attend a symphony, recital, or a play.  I tend to choose events I don’t have to play an active roll in.  That’s it.  If i spend too much time socializing, I’m worn out.  My social butterfly wings will quit mid-flight leaving me searching for a quiet, solitary place to land.  Before that energy wears out, you would never guess that I am an introvert, but I am and that’s okay.

What is not okay is behaving poorly and then throwing on the introvert cloak. Below is a list of qualities often associated with introverts that drive me crazy.

 

 

Introverts don’t like people

Yes we do. I hate this association the most because I love people.  I think this has been associated with introvert because we tend to “give out” and retreat a social functions.  I understand it can be confusing to see a person jolly and having a wonderful time then turn into someone who can’t get out of the room fast enough.  That is because we have used up our energy.  We all can turn on the charm and enthusiasm, but it has a limited shelf life. That does not mean we don’t enjoy spending time with people.  It just means that time does indeed get spent.

 

Introverts are snarky

Okay…I can be snarky, but it is not a part of my personality.  One thing I can say about most introverts I know is that we are quite witty.  If the situation calls for snark, it is best served by us.  I think our ability to think through things before opening our mouths give is that extra biting edge when  the need for a snarky remark presents itself.

Introverts like to hide in the shadows

This is only partially true.  We will go hide in the shadows when our energy reserves wear out, but we do not live there.  We enjoy the light as much as anyone else.

 

Introverts are not great public speakers

I have to speak in public all the time and it does not bother me at all.  I actually prefer speaking in front of a large group as opposed to mingling within a large group.  Introversion is not a lack of ability to function.  We just do things differently.

 

Introverts do not want friends

We do want friends, just not too many.  We usually have a small circle of close friends.  I am always looking to make new connections, but constant hanging out and doing lots of things together very often does not appeal to me.  My close circle of friends understand that or they are introverts as well.  It takes someone who really understands an introvert to be friends with one.  I often want to be in the company of my friends without necessarily interacting with them.  This is one of the things some of my extroverted friends do not understand.  I often hear “Why did you suggest I come over if we weren’t going to do anything?”  My response to that is “I just wanted to spend some time with you” , and I do. It doesn’t necessarily mean we have to do something.  Introverts are fine with just being.

 

What are some other misconceptions about introverts that drive you mad?

 

Posted in Introvert Lounge

In a Sea of Extroverts (A tiny rant)

If you have read any of my other posts, you know I’m an introvert.  I am an introvert who does not appear to be on because and many people don’t understand, I love people.  I can be the life of the party for about 15 to 30 minutes.  Then I have to disappear.   If I actually attend a party you can rest assured that it was either mandatory, a mistake, it was one of those step-out-of-my-comfort-zone moments, or I had some idea of a quick and clever escape once I arrived.  I have always felt my introversion was an advantage and I have learned to stop making excuses for it, but recently I am seeing that there is a  clear extrovert advantage and it is making my me feel, for lack of a better phrase, some kind of way.

Those who are extroverts and thrive on creating and attending social events can really put the pressure on an introvert.  Especially if you find yourself in a sea of introverts.  There is a very well-liked extrovert who has recently entered my circle of associates.  This introvert is the one who plans get-togethers, parties, meet ups, group outings, all the things I and many introverts shy away from.  Being the introvertiest person in the group, I often feel the pressure of attending these functions as all of the others are willing to accept.  To top it of, I get lots of “Are you coming to this one? You didn’t come to the last one?”  I feel like I am drowning in a sea of extroverts.

In instances like these, I feel the extrovert has disrupted my little world. In a sea of extroverts it takes time for them to adjust to your introvert ways.  I have to navigate the “it’s not you, it’s me” conversations to assure them that although I enjoy their company, I get over it quickly and want the interaction to end.  Once I get them used to me, someone comes along and makes me the odd one out all over again. UGH!  My little group was accustomed to me leaving events early or not going at all, and would let me do so in peace without question.  Now this new introvert has reignited them. It is as if they have forgotten what kind of person I am.

Now I have to start over but, that’s okay.  If you plan to have a healthy and fulfilling life you have to adjust to different types of people.  This instance is challenging to me but, I will work through it.

 

Posted in Introvert Lounge

Introverts Are Born To Connect More Deeply With Others, Here’s Why

Learn more about introverts and why they are wonderful partners, and have a profound ability to connect deeply with others.

Source: Introverts Are Born To Connect More Deeply With Others, Here’s Why

Posted in Embracing Vulnerability Series

Artist Louise Bourgeois on How Solitude Enriches Creative Work – Brain Pickings

“You are born alone. You die alone. The value of the space in between is trust and love.”

Source: Artist Louise Bourgeois on How Solitude Enriches Creative Work – Brain Pickings

Posted in Introvert Lounge

On “Social Introverts” 

A letter from Michael Schiller, founder of the Social Introverts Facebook Page, on his passion for helping introverts appreciate their own quiet perfection.

Source: On “Social Introverts” 

Posted in Introvert Lounge, Uncategorized

22 Things Only Introverts Understand

Truth! I have used #13 many times.

Extroverts: We adore your unbridled enthusiasm, boundless energy and ability to socialize with a houseplant. It’s inspiring. Also: exhausting. So, while we think you’re great, we wish you got us a little bit better. Here, 22 things that only true-blue introverts understand. Read on (in silence, of course).

Source: 22 Things Only Introverts Understand

Posted in Introvert Lounge

How Parents And Teachers Can Nurture The ‘Quiet Power’ Of Introverts : NPR Ed : NPR

A new book looks inside the minds of introverted kids and teens, with lessons for schools on class participation, groupthink and public speaking.

Source: How Parents And Teachers Can Nurture The ‘Quiet Power’ Of Introverts : NPR Ed : NPR