Posted in Introvert Lounge

Stand Tall

I’m a woman.  As a young girl I was always encouraged to be “lady-like”.  I was told to sit with my knees together and if I were to cross my legs, I could only cross them at the ankle.  I was told to sit up straight and practice great posture.  My mother told me all of these things not to conform to some idea of what it meant to be feminine, but for my health.  She always said these things were lady-like and good for me.  She told me sitting up straight would train me to have good posture and that crossing my legs only at the ankle would ensure proper blood flow.  She also said these things showed everyone else that I cared about myself.  She was right.  In addition to these things being good for my health, they also put out a message.

My mother also taught me to let myself be heard, and not to cower in fear of what others may think.  This is a lesson that took a while to learn, but it wasn’t hard.  I realized I project a certain confidence that I often found lacking in myself.  I have been told that I “carry myself” well, or that I look like the type of woman who “don’t take no mess”.  I have taken my share of messes in the past.   It often puzzled me that people at first meeting found me intimidating.  It was not until I saw a video of myself walking to my car shot by a friend of mine.  I was standing talk, back straight, chest out and thought to myself “Who is that?”  I could not believe my eyes.  I could now see what everyone else was talking about.  I looked more confident than I was.  This video was a game-changer for me.  That day I decided I was going to be the woman I had trained my body to be.

I was never a push-over, but I wouldn’t say that I was the most assertive woman either.  It took a lot for me to step up and make myself heard. I knew that part of me needed some work so I used the antiquated term of being “lady-like” to my advantage.  I took a page from my mother’s book.  She described the confident posture and demeanor that I now possess as “lady-like” because, I feel that she subconsciously believed that to be a less threatening term for a woman.  What she was teaching me was to convey confidence in a non-threatening way.  I had to learn to be assertive.

Being assertive for an introvert has its challenges, but it also has its advantages.  As an introvert, I tend to sit back and observe.  We introverts make lots of mental notes in our heads and tend to not act on impulse, thus making our assertion more effective.   We can be calculating and often let all the dust clear before sweeping up the pieces and putting them in order.  I use the “lady-like” approach.  I wait my turn, smile, and never raise my voice.  This is not a sign of weakness, but of control.  I can maintain my composure while making myself heard and commanding respect.  I have been amazed at how well this works.  I believe once you lose control of your emotions, you being to crack the shell of your defense.  I was able to convey a confidence and even intimidation just in the way I walked.  It wasn’t because of anything I said.  It was because I was in control of my body.  I learned that I also had to get that same control over my emotions.

 

Advertisements
Posted in Uncategorized, Write On Wednesday

Write on Wednesday # 48

sage2

Today’s Writing Prompt:  Ritual

We all have some type of ritual.  It could be a daily walk, a morning brew of coffee, or a complex set of steps that you must complete before moving on to the next thing.  Write about one of your rituals and what it means to you.  Why do you feel it is necessary?  When did it start?  What would happen if you didn’t do it?

Posted in Uncategorized

Wisdom of a Child

cartoon-house1

The other day my son and I were driving home from church.  We pass a very small, modest house and my son said “That’s the kind of house I want!”  I was a little shocked as the house was very small and nondescript.  My son is academically gifted and I had visions him being a CEO, famous artist, etc.  Basically, I visioned him having a lucrative career  and along with that, I did not envision such a tiny, unremarkable home.  I asked him why that house appealed to him.  He then went on to tell me  big houses require a lot of work and money to maintain and  he did not want to spend his time, money, and energy maintaining and extravagant house.  He would much rather travel, and work just enough to afford the things he enjoys.  Spending so much money on a house did not make sense to him.

This day I learned that my dreams for may child are just that – My Dreams.  He has a mind of his own and, from what I can tell, a pretty good plan.  I work in higher education and I often encounter parents pushing their dreams onto their children.  I try to encourage the parents and the students to make decisions they will be happy with in the long run.  Although I never tell my son that he shouldn’t take a certain path or judge his decisions, I do realize that I may imply my disappointment, but saying things like “Why would you want to do that? I have to be careful with my tone because I have always told my son that he would be free to do anything that does not harm himself or others.  I will always take into consideration his best interests and will guide him along the way, but I will also trust that sometimes his vision for himself is what’s best for him.  It is his life to live and I want him to be happy.

Posted in Write On Wednesday

Write on Wednesday #47

president

I think this prompt is fitting given the current and constant concerns with the sitting POTUS.

Today’s writing prompt:  If I were President…

What would you do differently?  What would you accomplish during your first 100 days in office? Who would be your Vice President?  Who would you choose for your cabinet and why?  Will you be well liked?  Have fun with it!

Posted in Write On Wednesday

Write on Wednesday #47

prayers answered

 

Today’s Writing Prompt:

Imagine that today you woke up and all of your prayers had been answered and all of your wishes had been granted.  Was it all you expected it to be?  What would your day or the rest of your life look like?  Who would you thank for it?  Have fun with it!

Posted in Uncategorized

Harper Lee – Inspiration for the writing life – The Writer

I never turn down an opportunity to learn from others, especially other writers.  We all need encouragement and confirmation to keep going.

Harper Lee inspired generations of writers, including Loretta Ellsworth, who shares insights into lessons learned while writing “In Search of Mockingbird.”

Source: Harper Lee – Inspiration for the writing life – The Writer